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Hey Guys! Why’s It so Hard to Open Up?
— You might remember the “strong, silent type” of guy from the movies in the ’40s. He’s the self-reliant guy who with the poker face who never let anyone know how he was feeling. Instead, he was all...
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Your Relationship: Why is It so Hard to Apologize?
— Jack had a rough week at work and by Friday night was worn out. As a result, he wasn’t exactly at his best emotionally. His wife, Sofia, said something that just hit him the wrong way. She was...
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Your Relationship: What You Do That Hurts Your Partner
— I talk with a lot of couples about their relationship. And I talk with clients one-on-one who also want to talk about their relationship. Inevitably, we discuss hurt feelings. The pain they...
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Your Relationship: The Gift of Listening
— Allison and Tommy were both hanging out in the kitchen waiting for dinner to finish cooking. While Allison stood in front of the stove, she was telling Tommy about a political situation she was...
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How Name-Calling Damages Your Relationship
— Luke and his wife, Kaylee, have been having an ongoing disagreement that they haven’t yet found a way to resolve. To say they are angry at each other is almost an understatement. They are really...
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Your Relationship: Ask, Don’t Accuse
— Mario asked his wife, Kate, to help him move the couch so he could clean underneath it. He’s been making an effort to do his half of the work around the house. But an old sports injury causes his...
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Just Got Diagnosed. And My Self-Esteem Took a Hit!
— My client, Noah, slumped forward as he talked about how he was coping with his recent diagnosis. “I know this is a chronic condition and I have it for life. That’s the deal. I also tell myself that I...
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Your Relationship: The Importance of Shared Meals
— “What’s for dinner?” When is the last time you asked that? Last night? A few hours ago? Sure, dinner time – or any meal time – is about being hungry and getting fed. But it’s about a whole lot more...
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Your Critical Inner Voice: Are You Carrying the Torch and Carrying the Torture?
— “Are you really that stupid? What a loser!” That’s what the voice inside of Jeremy’s head was saying to him. And why? Jeremy slipped up on a couple of things recently. He misread the instructions...
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Your Relationship: Are You Withholding From Your Partner?
— Do you ever find yourself being withholding toward your partner? Or do you ever feel your partner is withholding from you? Here are a couple of examples: Max is disappointed with his wife, Tara. He...
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Your Relationship: Why Can’t You Be More Emotional?
— Amelia and Danny sat on my couch and, as I listened, described an issue that I often find myself trying to help couples with: expressing emotion. And for Amelia and Danny, like most couples,...
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Oh No! My Boss is Leaving!
— Jeremy has a great relationship with his boss, Donna. Donna is demanding but always fair, communicates clearly, and is fun to be around. Donna has been supportive every step of the way. They have...
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Your Relationship: The Value of Thinking Out Loud
— Allie and her husband, Jase, just had a disagreement, with a few harsh words. It all started with a comment Allie made that set Jase off. Here’s what happened: Jase has been hitting some rough spots...
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When a Child Has a Chronic Condition
— When a child has a chronic condition, the whole family has a chronic condition. Other family members are often faced with making their own lifestyle adjustments – diet restrictions, limits on family...
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Uncertainty: A Formula for Using Rational Mind to Help You Cope
— Life is uncertain. You think you’re doing everything right. At least, you hope you are. But life gets in the way of our plans. An unexpected turn of events can change everything. An event that you...
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Chronic Communication at Work: Do I Have a Right to Ask for a Raise?
— Ethan has been working for his company for over ten years. He has a good track record. Many positive reviews from both his past and current managers. He is well thought of by co-workers. Ethan is...
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Try Humanizing Instead of Demonizing
— Had one of those days lately when a family member, friend, or someone you don’t even know, steps up to the plate, swings hard, and knocks your day right out of the park? In the right place at the...
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Is Your Grudge Making You Sick? 4 Tips to Forgive
— Last week, a client talked to me about how a friend had done something to hurt him. As he talked, I couldn’t help but notice how his whole demeanor changed. He slumped forward, frowning like he was...
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Moving Beyond the Fear Factor
— Any medical diagnosis means change, such as changes in diet and lifestyle and new medications, and it is only human to want to hang on to what is comfortable and familiar. Change is scary as we begin...
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Cyberdating: Lessons From My Clients
— I spend a lot of time talking with my clients about relationships. Not only the relationships they are currently involved in, but the relationships they would like to have. Specifically, people to...
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